MY BELOVED FOUND OUT!

I couldn't really believe that my beloved already found out my other ID on chat.....MSN and Yahoo.I don't know how he found out but he was sure 100% it was me and he just want to make sure.
I couldn't admit it's not me because he wants me to swear that the ID is not my other ID under his LOVE.I can't lie to him......then I admit to him about the ID.Shikra found out about me using another ID coz:

1- Everytime I send sms.ac using my usual ID, in a same time I also send sms.ac using the other ID.

2- He never gave ALLY his yahoo ID.So, Shikra was so sure that I'm the one who gave ALLY his yahoo ID.

3- The font colour that ALLY used on MSN is the same font colour that I used when I talk with Shikra.
He knew I always used purple as my font colour.

4- And for the last reason, Shikra was so sure it was me using that other ID by the way ALLY talked with Shikra and the way ALLY used the sentences when talking.He was sure it was me.I thought Shikra didn't know me but instead he knew me more than that.Just that he never told me..Now I knew how deep his feeling for me.

Oh, God, it was so difficult for him to accept and know what I just did to him.He was so honest with his love on me.....but I'm the one who turn things very bad.
I hope my beloved Shikra can understand why I did that.I didn't mean to test his love on me or try to play a game with his heart.It just happen like that.
First, Shikra introduced me about sms.ac.I registered my name on that sms.ac........but when I try to open my ID, it can't be open.So, I try with another ID using my twin sister's number and that is why ALLY exist.I will open both of my sms.ac.But on that day, I was wrong send sms using ALLY's ID.That is the first time Shikra got that sms.ac.I was surprised and I don't know what to say.So, I just leave things like that.But then, ALLY got responsed from Shikra.So, things started out so well.I want to tell Shikra about ALLY, but I'm afraid he will damn angry with me.So, I plan to tell him about ALLY when the time is come.But so sad, Shikra already found out about ALLY more than I expect.I don't know what to say but I wish Shikra can understand why I did that.I hope he didn't misunderstood me.But what can I do?he knew about it already.I did that because I just want to know how and why Shikra love me through ALLY. I didn't mean anything.If Shikra can recall all the conversation that ALLY have with him, then he can understand that most of the questions that ALLY asked are mostly on wanting to know his feeling towards HELENA.That's all and nothing more.But I didn't have a chance to explain that.It's okay.I have to accept the consequence on what I did to Shikra.
Now, I was damn hurt because I didn't have a chance to explain everything and I already hurt his feeling so much.He was so hurt.Words can't really explain how hurt he is, but I knew.
The situation between me and Shikra is quiet different now.I can feel it.He was not sure again what he felt about me after what I did to him.There is nothing I can do.I just hope he will said again all the magic words to me.That is the only way I can know if he still have his feeling on me.It's weird because there is no love words between us when we talk to each other and it hurt so much.
He didnt allowed me to discuss the topic when we both online and talking.But I can't be like that.He knew that I will discuss the topic with him.But he didn't allow me to do that.I can't pretend nothing happen and just forget things like that to him.Let him hurt his feeling alone........and I don't have a chance to know how he felt after what I did to him.I just hope he will open his heart to talk with me and give me chance to explain everything because I can't go on talking without knowing everything.
If I have a chance, then I will talk with him.But for now, I think that I have to give him some time and I will talk with him when he ask me to come online and talk................and if he felt like he reeally miss me so much.Now, Len, give a break and time to your beloved Shikra.If he still love you, then he will turn to you.Otherwise, you have to move on no matter how hurt and hard it is.
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU FOREVER AND MORE!

P/S Just remember that Shikra still have his love on you, just that maybe it will be different.But don't ever change what you felt towards him.And just wait until the time he don't want you in his life anymore.