I do love you so much, my dear beloved SHIKRA.I'm afraid that you will change what you felt towards me.But it's okay.I know that you are strong enough and you always be fine in each and everything.I'm so glad and proud to have you in my life.I hope you are the man that I can spend the rest of my life with.
I know it's not that easy for me to be with SHIKRA.But I was so happy with what I have with him now.He is the best I ever had...............and I'm not going to loose him again...........never!
He really honest with me.So hard to find a man like him........never kiss a woman and even never falling in love before.I guess I am the luckiest girl of all to have him.I so proud of that.Guess I'm the first lady to kiss him................wow, so nice to think like that.But it's not that easy.Time will make sure if I can have him as my HUBBY!
I do really miss you and I am sure you do miss me too the way I miss you!
LOVE YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Thursday, December 22, 2005
I AM WITH YOU
I sent my beloved SMS last nite......tellin him that I'm kinda hard to know him because he didn't talk to much and didn't say anything after what I did to him.I felt so terrible.I do miss him so much.I'm not sure what my life will be without him.He is the best I ever had.If I lost him, I guess my life will change.I will never ever find someone like him.It's because he is all I got.He got what I want in man.And, thank you God for giving me someone as special as SHIKRA.
I guess SHIKRA was not happy with my sms last nite........and TODAY, he sent me offline messages......he thought I will understand his situation with his official work there.But, sometimes I think him in a wrong way.I also wrote that he have changed what he felt on me.But instead, I was wrong.He was strong with his feeling one me and I should believe in his love......and he never ever change.He also said that 'I AM WITH YOU'.I was so happy to know that.I should trust him more and more.He only got me in his life and no other women can take my place.I'm always in his way.I must try to understand his situation now.He needs me.I should be what I should be.Thank you so much my dear beloved SHIKRA.You know that you can make me happy always!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH........
I guess SHIKRA was not happy with my sms last nite........and TODAY, he sent me offline messages......he thought I will understand his situation with his official work there.But, sometimes I think him in a wrong way.I also wrote that he have changed what he felt on me.But instead, I was wrong.He was strong with his feeling one me and I should believe in his love......and he never ever change.He also said that 'I AM WITH YOU'.I was so happy to know that.I should trust him more and more.He only got me in his life and no other women can take my place.I'm always in his way.I must try to understand his situation now.He needs me.I should be what I should be.Thank you so much my dear beloved SHIKRA.You know that you can make me happy always!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH........
Saturday, December 17, 2005
KEEP YOU HAPPY ALWAYS!
I'm not sure if my beloved is fine or not.He said he was fine.But I can felt that he is not fine.He got different feeling on me and I'm definitely sure about it.But he pretend that everything is fine.I'm not sure what he really felt.I guess he was trying to hide what he really felt.He don't want to let it show.I felt so sad and I'm not happy with that.I hope you can be honest with me........show me what you really want.Don't let me think about it alone and I can't stop thinking about you.I know I have hurt you so much.I do really knew it.But I didn't mean it.But it mean so much to you for what I did.I wish there is a chance for explaination but I guess it's not going to happen.
I really felt you have changed what you felt on me.The love you got already changed.......and it really hurt.The way you talk to me when we go online, is the answer.I felt different when I talked with you because you have changed.Now, today I tried to talked with you but there is no respond from you and I'm not so sure what's wrong with that.I hope it's the problem with the internet connection.I'm waiting for you to reply my message but still, you couldn't reply it.I guess you angry with me, that's why you didn't reply my message.
I know how angry you are with me.I do really know.When we talked last time after you found out about my other ID, you felt so regret about that.And I felt so hurt and sad because you said that you wish you just die and became one of the victim on the disaster.What would you think if I also said that to you when you done a mistake on me?You are not happy,rite?I know I have my mistake on you.But the mistake which I done to you....I hope you can consider it very well.Why I did that?Because you didn't give me proper response, like what I did to you.I don't want to talk about that.I got nothing if I said that.Things will getting worst.
I'm now have to move on even it is so hard.I'm not sure if I still have your love with me.I couldn't think to have your love in my life.I won't dare to have your love.....coz I already hurt you.I thought my mistakes is fine but I guess is the biggest mistakes for you.
I'm not sure what I want to feel with you.You said you want to KEEP ME HAPPY ALWAYS.....but I guess what you did really makes me felt so hurt.Plese try to be honest when you love someone.Don't pretend you are fine......instead you felt so hurt.I need your honesty to tell me the truth.I never thought you don't want to talk with me.I guess I have to let things just like that.No matter what happen, I'm so happy because I'm honest to tell you what I really felt and nothing left to know.....and I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!......even now you have changed what you felt against me.I wish all the best in everything you do!
I really felt you have changed what you felt on me.The love you got already changed.......and it really hurt.The way you talk to me when we go online, is the answer.I felt different when I talked with you because you have changed.Now, today I tried to talked with you but there is no respond from you and I'm not so sure what's wrong with that.I hope it's the problem with the internet connection.I'm waiting for you to reply my message but still, you couldn't reply it.I guess you angry with me, that's why you didn't reply my message.
I know how angry you are with me.I do really know.When we talked last time after you found out about my other ID, you felt so regret about that.And I felt so hurt and sad because you said that you wish you just die and became one of the victim on the disaster.What would you think if I also said that to you when you done a mistake on me?You are not happy,rite?I know I have my mistake on you.But the mistake which I done to you....I hope you can consider it very well.Why I did that?Because you didn't give me proper response, like what I did to you.I don't want to talk about that.I got nothing if I said that.Things will getting worst.
I'm now have to move on even it is so hard.I'm not sure if I still have your love with me.I couldn't think to have your love in my life.I won't dare to have your love.....coz I already hurt you.I thought my mistakes is fine but I guess is the biggest mistakes for you.
I'm not sure what I want to feel with you.You said you want to KEEP ME HAPPY ALWAYS.....but I guess what you did really makes me felt so hurt.Plese try to be honest when you love someone.Don't pretend you are fine......instead you felt so hurt.I need your honesty to tell me the truth.I never thought you don't want to talk with me.I guess I have to let things just like that.No matter what happen, I'm so happy because I'm honest to tell you what I really felt and nothing left to know.....and I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!......even now you have changed what you felt against me.I wish all the best in everything you do!
Thursday, December 15, 2005
MY BELOVED IS FINE...THANK YOU!
I felt so terrible after what I did to my beloved.I know it's not that easy for him to know and accept what I just did to him.I hope he is fine also.....but I guess I might not know what inside his heart.But he is a true decent man.
I can't stop thinking of him.Every time I woke up, my first thought is him.His name always lingers on my mind and I keep on saying it.I'm not sure what my life will be without him.He seem to be very perfect and I guess I have no words to describe him........he was my everything!
I was so happy I have a chance to talk with him today.My beloved is fine and I was so happy today that he is definitely fine.Maybe I wasn't really sure what is in his mind.I felt so happy anyway.Thanx my dear for making my day today!
He do really always want to make me happy even it is so hard and I was grateful to have him in my life.He really want to make sure that I am happy and indeed he keep me happy.He said to me today when we both talk online is that.... "KEEP YOU HAPPY ALWAYS".Thanks my dear!
I must now believe and trust my beloved so much.Just as what he did to me.I must learn from him.He was so strong with his feeling on me.I hope I will be strong like him and will keep our relation last forever.
THANX MY SHIKRA........indeed you are like an EAGLE!
I can't stop thinking of him.Every time I woke up, my first thought is him.His name always lingers on my mind and I keep on saying it.I'm not sure what my life will be without him.He seem to be very perfect and I guess I have no words to describe him........he was my everything!
I was so happy I have a chance to talk with him today.My beloved is fine and I was so happy today that he is definitely fine.Maybe I wasn't really sure what is in his mind.I felt so happy anyway.Thanx my dear for making my day today!
He do really always want to make me happy even it is so hard and I was grateful to have him in my life.He really want to make sure that I am happy and indeed he keep me happy.He said to me today when we both talk online is that.... "KEEP YOU HAPPY ALWAYS".Thanks my dear!
I must now believe and trust my beloved so much.Just as what he did to me.I must learn from him.He was so strong with his feeling on me.I hope I will be strong like him and will keep our relation last forever.
THANX MY SHIKRA........indeed you are like an EAGLE!
Friday, December 09, 2005
MY BELOVED FOUND OUT!
I couldn't really believe that my beloved already found out my other ID on chat.....MSN and Yahoo.I don't know how he found out but he was sure 100% it was me and he just want to make sure.
I couldn't admit it's not me because he wants me to swear that the ID is not my other ID under his LOVE.I can't lie to him......then I admit to him about the ID.Shikra found out about me using another ID coz:
1- Everytime I send sms.ac using my usual ID, in a same time I also send sms.ac using the other ID.
2- He never gave ALLY his yahoo ID.So, Shikra was so sure that I'm the one who gave ALLY his yahoo ID.
3- The font colour that ALLY used on MSN is the same font colour that I used when I talk with Shikra.
He knew I always used purple as my font colour.
4- And for the last reason, Shikra was so sure it was me using that other ID by the way ALLY talked with Shikra and the way ALLY used the sentences when talking.He was sure it was me.I thought Shikra didn't know me but instead he knew me more than that.Just that he never told me..Now I knew how deep his feeling for me.
Oh, God, it was so difficult for him to accept and know what I just did to him.He was so honest with his love on me.....but I'm the one who turn things very bad.
I hope my beloved Shikra can understand why I did that.I didn't mean to test his love on me or try to play a game with his heart.It just happen like that.
First, Shikra introduced me about sms.ac.I registered my name on that sms.ac........but when I try to open my ID, it can't be open.So, I try with another ID using my twin sister's number and that is why ALLY exist.I will open both of my sms.ac.But on that day, I was wrong send sms using ALLY's ID.That is the first time Shikra got that sms.ac.I was surprised and I don't know what to say.So, I just leave things like that.But then, ALLY got responsed from Shikra.So, things started out so well.I want to tell Shikra about ALLY, but I'm afraid he will damn angry with me.So, I plan to tell him about ALLY when the time is come.But so sad, Shikra already found out about ALLY more than I expect.I don't know what to say but I wish Shikra can understand why I did that.I hope he didn't misunderstood me.But what can I do?he knew about it already.I did that because I just want to know how and why Shikra love me through ALLY. I didn't mean anything.If Shikra can recall all the conversation that ALLY have with him, then he can understand that most of the questions that ALLY asked are mostly on wanting to know his feeling towards HELENA.That's all and nothing more.But I didn't have a chance to explain that.It's okay.I have to accept the consequence on what I did to Shikra.
Now, I was damn hurt because I didn't have a chance to explain everything and I already hurt his feeling so much.He was so hurt.Words can't really explain how hurt he is, but I knew.
The situation between me and Shikra is quiet different now.I can feel it.He was not sure again what he felt about me after what I did to him.There is nothing I can do.I just hope he will said again all the magic words to me.That is the only way I can know if he still have his feeling on me.It's weird because there is no love words between us when we talk to each other and it hurt so much.
He didnt allowed me to discuss the topic when we both online and talking.But I can't be like that.He knew that I will discuss the topic with him.But he didn't allow me to do that.I can't pretend nothing happen and just forget things like that to him.Let him hurt his feeling alone........and I don't have a chance to know how he felt after what I did to him.I just hope he will open his heart to talk with me and give me chance to explain everything because I can't go on talking without knowing everything.
If I have a chance, then I will talk with him.But for now, I think that I have to give him some time and I will talk with him when he ask me to come online and talk................and if he felt like he reeally miss me so much.Now, Len, give a break and time to your beloved Shikra.If he still love you, then he will turn to you.Otherwise, you have to move on no matter how hurt and hard it is.
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU FOREVER AND MORE!
P/S Just remember that Shikra still have his love on you, just that maybe it will be different.But don't ever change what you felt towards him.And just wait until the time he don't want you in his life anymore.
I couldn't admit it's not me because he wants me to swear that the ID is not my other ID under his LOVE.I can't lie to him......then I admit to him about the ID.Shikra found out about me using another ID coz:
1- Everytime I send sms.ac using my usual ID, in a same time I also send sms.ac using the other ID.
2- He never gave ALLY his yahoo ID.So, Shikra was so sure that I'm the one who gave ALLY his yahoo ID.
3- The font colour that ALLY used on MSN is the same font colour that I used when I talk with Shikra.
He knew I always used purple as my font colour.
4- And for the last reason, Shikra was so sure it was me using that other ID by the way ALLY talked with Shikra and the way ALLY used the sentences when talking.He was sure it was me.I thought Shikra didn't know me but instead he knew me more than that.Just that he never told me..Now I knew how deep his feeling for me.
Oh, God, it was so difficult for him to accept and know what I just did to him.He was so honest with his love on me.....but I'm the one who turn things very bad.
I hope my beloved Shikra can understand why I did that.I didn't mean to test his love on me or try to play a game with his heart.It just happen like that.
First, Shikra introduced me about sms.ac.I registered my name on that sms.ac........but when I try to open my ID, it can't be open.So, I try with another ID using my twin sister's number and that is why ALLY exist.I will open both of my sms.ac.But on that day, I was wrong send sms using ALLY's ID.That is the first time Shikra got that sms.ac.I was surprised and I don't know what to say.So, I just leave things like that.But then, ALLY got responsed from Shikra.So, things started out so well.I want to tell Shikra about ALLY, but I'm afraid he will damn angry with me.So, I plan to tell him about ALLY when the time is come.But so sad, Shikra already found out about ALLY more than I expect.I don't know what to say but I wish Shikra can understand why I did that.I hope he didn't misunderstood me.But what can I do?he knew about it already.I did that because I just want to know how and why Shikra love me through ALLY. I didn't mean anything.If Shikra can recall all the conversation that ALLY have with him, then he can understand that most of the questions that ALLY asked are mostly on wanting to know his feeling towards HELENA.That's all and nothing more.But I didn't have a chance to explain that.It's okay.I have to accept the consequence on what I did to Shikra.
Now, I was damn hurt because I didn't have a chance to explain everything and I already hurt his feeling so much.He was so hurt.Words can't really explain how hurt he is, but I knew.
The situation between me and Shikra is quiet different now.I can feel it.He was not sure again what he felt about me after what I did to him.There is nothing I can do.I just hope he will said again all the magic words to me.That is the only way I can know if he still have his feeling on me.It's weird because there is no love words between us when we talk to each other and it hurt so much.
He didnt allowed me to discuss the topic when we both online and talking.But I can't be like that.He knew that I will discuss the topic with him.But he didn't allow me to do that.I can't pretend nothing happen and just forget things like that to him.Let him hurt his feeling alone........and I don't have a chance to know how he felt after what I did to him.I just hope he will open his heart to talk with me and give me chance to explain everything because I can't go on talking without knowing everything.
If I have a chance, then I will talk with him.But for now, I think that I have to give him some time and I will talk with him when he ask me to come online and talk................and if he felt like he reeally miss me so much.Now, Len, give a break and time to your beloved Shikra.If he still love you, then he will turn to you.Otherwise, you have to move on no matter how hurt and hard it is.
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU FOREVER AND MORE!
P/S Just remember that Shikra still have his love on you, just that maybe it will be different.But don't ever change what you felt towards him.And just wait until the time he don't want you in his life anymore.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
WHEN LOVE AND HATE COLLIDE!
This morning I got sms from my old friend.He needs my help.So I set a date with him.So happy to see him after so long.It's been four years I didn't talk with him closely like today. I felt so happy with him.I know it might be akward for both of us because it's been so long..........then suddenly we met each other.I'm so happy with this date.Hope to date with him more............
He was nicce and hope everything will also be fine with him.I want to talk with him more, but he have to go.It's okay, I will see him again next time.
Oh my God!Another problem I have to face again with my boyfriend.We both really misunderstood each other.I didn't received his offline message telling me about his situation and the problem he have to face there.How should I know his problem when I didn't received any message from him.I know you might be angry and mad at me...............because I didn't understand ur situation and human problems.I hope we both can really talk with each other.......so we can understand this situation better.Otherwise, we both will hurt so much.
I'M SO SORRY IF I HAVE HURT YOU!........
He was nicce and hope everything will also be fine with him.I want to talk with him more, but he have to go.It's okay, I will see him again next time.
Oh my God!Another problem I have to face again with my boyfriend.We both really misunderstood each other.I didn't received his offline message telling me about his situation and the problem he have to face there.How should I know his problem when I didn't received any message from him.I know you might be angry and mad at me...............because I didn't understand ur situation and human problems.I hope we both can really talk with each other.......so we can understand this situation better.Otherwise, we both will hurt so much.
I'M SO SORRY IF I HAVE HURT YOU!........
Friday, December 02, 2005
HAPPY 28th BIRTHDAY MY DEAR BELOVED...SHIKRA!
It's my beloved birthday today...HAPPY 28th BIRTHDAY my dear.I'm so happy for you for this day and so sad that I can't celebrate the birthday with you because we both being away so far to each other.But we do understand our feelings.Just that I am the one who always curious about your love.I hope this day for your age, will bring you all the joy and happiness in your life and hope you will always have a great day ahead of you.
Live a happy life as you always want and believe in yourself.I always trust and believe in you.I'm so sorry if for the past year I've known you............I have hurt you so much.Please forgive me.......if I have a chance then I will show you what my love is!
You are the best thing ever happened in my life and I wanna thank you for the love you have given me...........
I LOVE YOU MORE AND MORE AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY WITH ALL MY LOVE........
Live a happy life as you always want and believe in yourself.I always trust and believe in you.I'm so sorry if for the past year I've known you............I have hurt you so much.Please forgive me.......if I have a chance then I will show you what my love is!
You are the best thing ever happened in my life and I wanna thank you for the love you have given me...........
I LOVE YOU MORE AND MORE AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY WITH ALL MY LOVE........
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