981 REUNION-10 YEARS (1998-2008)

Finally there will be a reunion for 981 class.Im so much happy for this reunion.There is a plan before but tak menjadi...Now after 10 years, finally Elsa and others set a reunion for all of us 981 class.Can't wait for this reunion.Some might come and some may not able to come...But its okay if some can't make it.We all have our other commitment in life...

We all grow and lots of things changes.Our responsibility also changes.We have other commitment in life.So we have to concentrate and be the best for our responsibility and commitment...As for me,still single like this, sure a lot of fun stuff I can do...hehehehe..I'm happy with my other friends.Some married already,had a children.Oh, I'm so happy with them all eve I'm still mingle...

Can't wait to meet all my 981 friends.Our memories will last forever and ever till the end of the day.

ANUGERAH PERKHIDMATAN CEMERLANG (APC) for 2007

I brought my sister to see me received my Anugerah Perkhidmatan Cemerlang (APC) for 2007 on that day...I want her to see me coz she is the only family member I got in Lahad Datu..If my dear father still around....He will be so proud of his daughter...I knew he was so proud.

Pose outside the hall after the ceremony.

My twin sister Cristina took a chance to pose with my certificate.

(Sijil Perkhidmatan Cemerlang)

(L-R) Rohana Maruji, Sajalinah Wasimin (teaching in SK Sepagaya now) and Me.

There are 4 of us received this APC from my school. The other one didn't came coz she had gone back to West Malaysia.

The ceremony was held in Sekolah Menengah Sains Lahad Datu on 28th August 2008 at 8.00 a.m. One of my good friend, David Sipilis Mathius of SK Tanjung Labian, Lahad Datu also received Anugerah Perkhidmatan Cemerlang (APC). I missed to take some photo with him coz he gone back early that day.

SCHOOL HOLIDAY

Yes, it's school holiday!!!Hoooraayyyy....I felt so much happy. Never thought it's the end of school period and time for enjoy the holiday.When I think back again for what happen over this year in my school,OMG...so many things happen.A good and sad moment.The easy and the hardest things happened through this year in school. But what's on my mind is.......I have to face things that happen. I must get over it or else I will be in trouble...But so far, I'm so much happy, I can face everything and things goin very well.Thank GOD!!!

One of my closest friend in school,...Dg. Sarmila Sidek (Ila) will transfer to Pahang, following her husband who live and work there as a businessman. Hope things will be fine with you there and your new school....

Tomorrow I will goin back to KK early around 7 am with Ila.My twin sister also goin back with me. I know my sis do miss MOM so much and all our 4 brothers in KK. Twin sis never been far away from MOM, but since things that happened to my family, she have to stay here and work. I understand how sis felt, coz I also felt the same when I miss my family back in college life last time.MOM didn't know that sis is following me go back by tomorrow. Indeed MOM still didn't know that I will going back by tomorrow. But I think my bro Carlos, will tell MOM once he get back from work. Coz my bro Carlos called me today during my meeting if it's true I will goin back by next week. Coz last nite I told them will go back by next week. I couldn't lie to them when they asked seriously,..so I honestly told my bro that tomorrow I will go back....YESSS!!!

Hope we will have a safe journey back...
MAY GOD BLESS OUR JOURNEY..AMEN...

ALL SOULS DAY

This is MY DEAR FATHER's grave. It was finished built on 28 November 2007

We held a prayer for my FATHER's grave on 02nd December 2007

I went to visit my father's grave on 01st of Nov for All Souls Day.It

was raining that day in the afternoon.I was so afraid and scared of meeting people that I don't want to see and face them.But my twin sister was so strong and I got my strength from her.We clean my father's grave and put in some beautiful flowers.But on that day we only gave father a yellow daisy. I really miss my father so very much.Everyone will miss the person they lost so much.I called my brother and tell him everything we done for father's grave.And MOM cried when I called her at nite.MOM alone have to face everything like this and MOM do miss her dear mother(my grandma).I understand how my MOM felt when she never met her mother for 33 years...So that nite MOM prepare everything to celebrate ALL SOULS DAY.Me and my twin sister, just lit some candles and have our prayers.

OUR CHORAL SPEAKING TEAM

WITH OUR EX-STUDENTS IN SMS (SEKOLAH MENENGAH SAINS) LAHAD DATU.

FACES OF THE CHAMPION........

WE ARE THE CHAMPION........

FOR CHORAL SPEAKING COMPETITION

(PRIMARY SCHOOL)

INTER LAHAD DATU DISTRICT (FROM 2004,2005,2007 & 2008)

IN LOVE........

It's not easy try to love someone.I thought it was so easy. I saw my friends falling in love,see how happy they are.Talking bout their loved one.I was jealous with them, but I was so happy coz I can share their happiness.I hope I can fall in love someday, just like them.

Finally, I had a chance to fall in love......to love someone.For sure I do love him so much.Honest and true with him.I want to know the feeling on loving someone.Now, I know the feeling already.But it's not as happy as I thought.Indeed it's so hard.I try so hard to love him, but in the end, I'm the one left alone with broken heart.He left me without saying goodbye.Left me alone wondering,what will happen to my life after this.So much hurt and pain to think bout this.But, I have to move on no matter how hard it is for me.I felt so shame to my family coz I thought I can be happy with him..........but in the end, it was just a dream.A dream that will never come true.Then I realize and woke up, I felt broken heart.It taught me so much in loving someone.I learned that it is not easy try to love someone.If you try to be true and honest with him, you never know if he will be true to you also.So, you just have to be careful in loving someone.

Now, I'm so much happy to know about love.Now, I'm alone.....single......hehehehe.....But its okay with that.I accept that with open heart.Now, have to be careful when try to love someone.......hehehe.It was a nice experience to love someone.Felt like in heaven when you are with someone you love.But be careful, don't dream too much coz you never know when you will wake up from the dream.I'm so much happy coz after what I have been through, I'm still stronger and tough.But deep inside my heart, only GOD knows how I really felt.

It's been more than a year after he left me.Still I haven't found a new one.I realize, so much things left undone.I have to do many things for my family.So many plan to do.Have to be careful when try to love someone.Search into his heart.Know him better.Take as much time with him.

I'm happy with my life now.Even sometimes, I felt lonely and need someone close to me.But what can I do?Still haven't found one.......but I'm not a desperate to find someone......hehehehe.Anyway, I'm happy with all my friends that already find their happiness with someone.........THANK GOD for everything.

PPSMI

Next week, Jemaah Nazir will come over to my school for PPSMI(Pengajaran & Pembelajaran Sains & Matematik dalam Bahasa Inggeris)...............oh is a headache for me.I have to make a report on that.In fact, I have to do the report since January, and I haven't done anything yet.Oh, no!!!I have to do the report no matter what.Before next week, I must complete everything.For NAZIR, what most important is they want to look for documentation.So, I have to prepare well for this report.

I have to make a good plan and strategy to finish this report.Otherwise, I will be in big trouble and I don't know what to answer to the NAZIR in case they want to look over the file.This is what I have to do to finish the report.

1. Be cool and calm down, Len........

2. List down important things in the file that you should do.

3. Start making your report from January........

4. Give the exact date and day for the PPSMI meeting.

5. Check and make a letter.

6. Bind your report for every month.

7. In case you got problem and didn't understand, go and discuss with your

senior.

8. Check your report in case if you missed anything........then you can pass up your report.

p/s : Have to follow this step in case I want my report to be finish.

MY SCHOOL........

I'm so proud with my school now........SK SAHABAT 16.A school that is far from town.....about 130km from Lahad Datu town.If you want to come here, you have to take private car and it will cost you about RM15.I've been teaching in this school for almost 7 years.Wow, I just couldn't believe that I have been teaching for 7 years now?

Oh,it reminds me of my friends.Angah wrote something for her comment on my blog.Im so much happy.Thanx angah.And not forget to you, Elsa.Always there for me.Angah reminds me of our sweet memory in Tandek, Kota Marudu.We woke up early around 5am and went to nearby river to have our bath.It's so funny coz we share the river with buffalo.Can you imagine, you use the water and the buffalo is just near there with you?Hehehehe.How can I forget that memory, Angah?It's still in my memory.We finished our bath and head our way back.On our journey back, Zube were stuck in a mud(that mud is actually the buffalo's najis)with her right leg inside.She tried hard to pull her leg out with her slipper but she couldn't.So, she just left her her slipper inside that mud.I couldn't bear to see her without any slipper.So, with a courage, I put my hand inside the mud and try to find her slipper.Oh, my God!When I write this story, my imagination is on that memory.So nice to think of it.I hold Zube slipper and brought it home.But then the same situation happen again.But this time in school in SK Tandek, Kota Marudu.We want to go back home after activity during night time.It was raining that night.Again Zube stuck her slipper in a mud(but this time is not the buffalo's najis).Then again, I pull her slipper out of the mud again.So funny to think again bout this.But because of that memory, Angah still remember me and didn't foget bout it.Thanx Angah.I will always remember our sweety memory in Tandek, Kota Marudu.

SCHOOL HOLIDAYS!

It's school holidays for this week.But im stuck here in this school, in my apartment.Alone.My housemate already gone back to their hometown.Its coz im involved with Pilihanraya as 'Polling Clerk' (kerani mengundi) and then PTK examination by tomorrow.Haven't study anything.Maybe I just answer what I can answer.But still I hope to score with IV(highest mark).But if I didn't study how can I score?.....hehehehe.

I'm now in my balcony, write something for my blog after a long time.In a mean time, search for a question for PTK tomorrow.I used to be alone in this apartment with 3 rooms and 2 bathrooms.For sure Im in master bedroom.Oh, don't worry, tomorrow I will goin back to KK wit my friend, Ila.She will drive her car, Myvi.I think by night time we both will reach KK.

I do really miss my family.My family now moved to KK.It was on 19th February 2008.It was in such a hurry we decide to leave Lahad Datu and moved to KK.I just couldn't believe what has just happen and why we decide to move to KK.Indeed need to go far away from KK and far away from Sabah.Now left me here in Lahad Datu with my twin sister.Only two of us left here.My twin sister work in town and she live in a house with 2 other friends.I'm so worried bout my sister.She never been far away from my MOM.MOM worried so much about her.Will she be fine there living alone?MOM didnt worried much bout me living alone here in FELDA, coz she knew I have been alone since I was 18.That time I was in college to be a teacher.But at first,MOM also worried bout me.But as time passing by, now MOM used to it.All my family have gone to KK.Indeed, I just couldn't believe my hometown is now in KK.Time pass by so fast.

I want to write something in this blog why my family have moved to KK.But I think I need time to tell my story.It's a story that so hard to tell and write.It need courage to write the story.But I will write the story.Coz I want people to know and share my story.I'm happy with other people's life.But the story of my life is so hard to tell.But I want to move on and be strong.Coz my family depend their life on me.Their life is on my hand.I can't just let them slip away.I promised my FATHER already that no matter what, I will take care of my family.Evey nite, I'm on my knees pray that GOD will give me strength so I can face everything with open heart.And I'm so grateful coz I still move on even deep inside my heart it felt so much hurt.Only God knows how I feel.Someday, I will write my sadness story.

I MISS TO WRITE ON MY BLOGS

So long I didn't write on my blog.I really miss it so much.I don't know why I didn't write again.I think I have to wake up again and realize I should write something.I need to.It's the way I can express my feeling,share what I thoughts.It's nice to write something here.Thanks to MY BEST FRIEND, ELSA for showing me on how to write in this blog. Such a new hobby for me. Guess I have to start all over again and write more and more. When I read Elsa's blog, I felt so happy. She really bring us into her life and share her nice and lovely story. Keep doing it 'Sa'. I like to read her blog. It's a story about life.To share that story is very interesting and nice. I guess I have to share my story also.
Yesterday, all teachers have a photo shoot. Indeed every year there's a photo shoot. Our new headmaster Mr. ZAID BIN DAS, will have his holiday from today until we will meet him again by next year.Tomorrow will be the last day before Hari Raya. One week holiday, feels like in heaven. Can enjoy life so much. Guess I just spend my time with my beloved family. Nothing much to do. All my good friends, are far away from me. So, I have to plan alone. Nothing to plan actually.Anyway, hope all the Muslims friend will have a safe and nice journey to their home (kampung).
School will start again on 22nd October 2007.It will be Second Semester Examination when they come back from holiday. I'm happy coz I already prepared the exam question. Thank God everything is under control.
This holiday, I think I have to manage everything very well with my family.May God bless all the people that I love. AMEN........

WE MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH........DAD

I didn't write much for my blog recently.I think it's more than 4 months since I wrote my last page for my blog.I just don't know what to wrote.I do have a lot of story to share and to tell.But I just need a good time to write and I need an inspiration.But I still can write.The main reason is im too much lazy.Maybe coz of a lot of work waiting for me.
Last Friday........02nd March 2007 it's half year since father died.WE MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH, DAD.We might not see you around DAD, but we knew you always there for us all.You always around us.You listen, you hear and you talk to us in our dream.It's kinda hard to believe but it's true.I always dream about DAD.DAD did came into my dream and speak to me.So much happy to know that is always with me.But for sure we all miss DAD so very much.I was so very much happy.Couldn't really explain how hurt I am that every night I weep like a child.If only I could explain it all in a word but it's so hard to explain.Only those who lost someone they love before, they know how much it hurts inside.
Last Chinese New Year, me and my beloved family went to KK to my cousin's house in Inanam for his son and daughter First Communion Party.So sad that I couldn't spend my time for shopping there coz we arrived on 17th February 2007 and the going back to Lahad Datu again on 19th February 2007 coz there is another Communion Party in Lahad Datu.Sister felt so sad couldn't spend time for shopping there.Never mind SIS, later we plan again to KK.
MOM bought a lot of vegetables in Kundasang.Me and sister bought a pot of daisy flower. We put the flower inside our home and it was so nice.We reached home almost 9pm.Felt so tired but we are happy.Brother at home was much worried for our journey.
Thank GOD, we all are safe on our journey and everything went so good.

ALL SOULS DAY.....MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PEACEFULLY, DAD........

It's the second month since our beloved father died last month(o2nd September)and today also is the day for ALL SOUL'S DAY.The exact date father died.I have to go back to lit a candle on father's grave.No matter what I have to go back since it's still school day.But I felt so happy I do have a chance to be with my beloved family and we all gather together went to father's grave.We clean and make sure everything is fine and great on father's grave.So sad and hurt this year Christmas gonna spend without our beloved father.I do hope and pray MOM will always be strong to face whatever happen on the future.I will try my very best take good care of my beloved family.Coz I thought I have a big responsible and I'm ready to accept it all.
Felt so hurt and seems like a glance to know father is not around.I still feel deep inside me something that still didn't come out.I need to shout it out.The burden of sadness is still inside me.I didn't let my beloved know about father.I don't have the courage to let him know.If he care for me much, sure I will let him know, but seems like it's not what I'm expecting, then I think I should keep it to myself.I will let him know someday.
My friend Elsa are now busy prepare for her wedding ceremony.I'm sure her wedding will be more cheerful,merrier and more grand.She always knew what is the best for her.I'm happy and glad for her and wish I will attend her glorious day........
I still remember Elsa dedicate a song and the video "Dance With My Father" by Luther Vandross.It's a lovely song,and 'Sa', I do love the song so very much.Thank you, thank you so much.On the same day also, I heard on the radio (TraXXFM), there is a listener dedicate the same song to all the listeners who lost their beloved father.Then I felt my heart pounding.I was so concentrate listening to the song and felt father was in front of me.His lovely face, smile and laugh.........Oh, God!I will always remember that.
It remind me again that I didn't spend much of my time with father before he died.I felt so hurt, sad and damn angry with that.But I know there is nothing I can do.I realize my mistakes and turn to MOM to make things clear.I have to take care MOM so much and our family.I promise no matter what I will always by MOM side.

p/s DAD.......MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PEACE.I promise you DAD that I will take care MOM and our family.No matter what, I will try my very best to make everyhting fine.I pray for father heavenly to help me become a strong person and much in love for everyone.AMEN........

THANX DAD FOR BEING THERE FOR US!

It's been a long time I didn't write something on my blog.It's because I'm now didn't have much time and all of my time I spent thinking bout my beloved family and lots of work to be done.But it didn't stop me from writing something to express my thoughts.Just that it took some time to write again.My friend Elsa sent me message why I didn't come online again and if I'm busy.I'm so sorry my friend for not coming online always.I will try hard to come online always and write more on this blog.
This week....on 02nd November(Thursday) is "All Souls Day" and it will be the first candle for my beloved FATHER.I have to go to DAD's grave.......pray for his soul to rest in peace.This coming Friday (03rd November) my school held a big HARI RAYA CELEBRATION for all the students and teachers.I'm sure this is going to be great.
I felt happy now coz to be very honest........I still felt my FATHER is just around me.I can feel him.I felt weird but I'm happy with that.MOM once dream about DAD.A dream that makes us believe that DAD is there for all of us.And I also believe in that.I felt strong now and sometimes I do talk alone..............it's like I'm talking with DAD.Sound strange and crazy but I believe DAD is there and listen to me.
Now, I'm so happy to face each and everything..............wherever we all go ........we all know DAD is there watching and care for all of us.

THANX DAD..............YOU ARE ALWAYS ON OUR HEART AND SOUL.
MISS YOU SO MUCH

THANX DAD FOR BEING THERE FOR US!

It's been a long time I didn't write something on my blog.It's because I'm now didn't have much time and all of my time I spent thinking bout my beloved family and lots of work to be done.But it didn't stop me from writing something to express my thoughts.Just that it took some time to write again.My friend Elsa sent me message why I didn't come online again and if I'm busy.I'm so sorry my friend for not coming online always.I will try hard to come online always and write more on this blog.
This week....on 02nd November(Thursday) is "All Souls Day" and it will be the first candle for my beloved FATHER.I have to go to DAD's grave.......pray for his soul to rest in peace.This coming Friday (03rd November) my school held a big HARI RAYA CELEBRATION for all the students and teachers.I'm sure this is going to be great.
I felt happy now coz to be very honest........I still felt my FATHER is just around me.I can feel him.I felt weird but I'm happy with that.MOM once dream about DAD.A dream that makes us believe that DAD is there for all of us.And I also believe in that.I felt strong now and sometimes I do talk alone..............it's like I'm talking with DAD.Sound strange and crazy but I believe DAD is there and listen to me.
Now, I'm so happy to face each and everything..............wherever we all go ........we all know DAD is there watching and care for all of us.

THANX DAD..............YOU ARE ALWAYS ON OUR HEART AND SOUL.
MISS YOU SO MUCH

It's been a long time I didn't write something on my blog.It's because I'm now didn't have much time and all of my time I spent thinking bout my beloved family and lots of work to be done.But it didn't stop me from writing something to express my thoughts.Just that it took some time to write again.My friend Elsa sent me message why I didn't come online again and if I'm busy.I'm so sorry my friend for not coming online always.I will try hard to come online always and write more on this blog.
This week....on 02nd November(Thursday) is "All Souls Day" and it will be the first candle for my beloved FATHER.I have to go to DAD's grave.......pray for his soul to rest in peace.This coming Friday (03rd November) my school held a big HARI RAYA CELEBRATION for all the students and teachers.I'm sure this is going to be great.
I felt happy now coz to be very honest........I still felt my FATHER is just around me.I can feel him.I felt weird but I'm happy with that.MOM once dream about DAD.A dream that makes us believe that DAD is there for all of us.And I also believe in that.I felt strong now and sometimes I do talk alone..............it's like I'm talking with DAD.Sound strange and crazy but I believe DAD is there and listen to me.
Now, I'm so happy to face each and everything..............wherever we all go ........we all know DAD is there watching and care for all of us.

THANX DAD..............YOU ARE ALWAYS ON OUR HEART AND SOUL.
MISS YOU SO MUCH

LIFE GOES ON........

It's been more than a week we lost our father.I have to go and be in school.Have to be away from my beloved family again.We felt so lost without our beloved husband and father.No matter how sad and hurt my family felt after the lost of our beloved FATHER..........
PETRUS BIN RESI @ PETRUS BIN KEROUE..............we still have to be strong and keep it all in our heart.We do know that DAD died not because of some disease.When people jealous of you, they can do anything to see you can't move on with your life.Lots of my relatives keep on asking themselves and seems like they all didn't believe my DAD had passed away.It's like a dream.People keep on asking and wondering what really happened to FATHER.After they gave bath to father, my twin sister try to hold DAD's hand and found out on DAD's shirt, there is a blood!We all felt so surprised because there is no wound when they bath DAD, but how come there is a blood?We keep on asking about that.We can't open DAD's shirt because MOM didn't allow it.It's not good to open DAD's shirt after we put on his clothes.So, my brother just try to touch the blood to find if there is a wound or what.But, it's nothing there.MOM remind us that before DAD died and hold his breath for the last time,DAD hold his chest and push and soon after that, DAD died.Even now, I still remember DAD's face and how he hold his breath for the last time.I do miss you so much, DAD.Truly sorry if we are not really being there for you and seem didn't really care for you.I'm really sure you do understand your children so much.I still remember you told me how proud you are with all of us........your beloved childre.Thank you so much DAD for all your guidance, your support and most your tender loving care.

On Sunday(03rd September 2006)........at about 4.30p.m..........we went to graveyard to bury our beloved father at Mile 9, Jalan Silam, Lahad Datu.There are more than 20 cars ascot to the graveyard.Not many people knew the death of FATHER.Me and my family didn't inform to DAD's friends.They all just heard from other relatives.When they knew and heard about the death of DAD........they all was so shocked.They all felt they missed a good and a very kind person.They just couldn't accept the lost of our beloved FATHER.Everyone keep on talking about his kindness...........the way he treat people around him........when they all asked for a help, DAD was really there to help them, even DAD was not feeling well.For DAD, as long as he can help people, he will help them until he can't really help them.I'm so proud of you DAD.You are the "BEST DAD" we all ever had!

p/s WE ALL REALLY MISS YOU SO MUCH.......LIFE MUST GO ON!

MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PEACE DAD........PETRUS BIN RESI@PETRUS BIN KEROUE

I went back home on morning of Merdeka Day (31st August 2006) after received a phone call from my brother last night.It was early around 7 am.When I reached home, I was not so happy looking at DAD.The way DAD try to breath properly.I thought it's so easy but in fact, it's not that easy.I took care DAD that night (31st August 2006) until 4 a.m.I massage DAD's leg, help DAD to breathe properly..........I couldn't stand looking at DAD try to breathe properly.I just hope DAD will be fine but it's getting worse for DAD.I didn't went to school teaching.
On Friday night (01st September) one of 'BOMOH' came to my house and try to check and look at DAD's condition.My family was so surprised to know what the 'BOMOH' have just told us.The 'BOMOH' told my family that there is a people who felt so jealous on my family.They really hate my family since long time ago and they don't know how they want to hurt my family.Now, they really have a chance to do that and they got my DAD.They felt so jealous with my DAD.DAD was a very kind and generous person.Everyone admit his behaviour to everyone.DAD was so good and great.I'm so proud of him.There is a people who was so jealous on DAD of his success.It was too late to do anything.'BOMOH' will try to help anything he could.All we can do is pray that everything will be fine.
On the morning of Saturday (02nd September 2006).......I'm not so happy looking at DAD.His face expression looks very different.DAD was so pale.The way DAD's face makes me realize DAD can't stand any longer.I couldn't eat during lunch time looking at how bad DAD'S condition and health.On evening, DAD asked me to pick sister from work.Seems like DAD knows his condition and DAD really knows he didn't have much time again.So, DAD wait for me to pick my twin sister back from work.After that, we all gather around DAD and saw DAD lying there on his favourite chair.MOM and all of us (DAD'S children) gather around DAD and suddenly DAD fall asleep for the rest of his life.I just couldn't believe I lost my beloved father.DAD hold his breath for 3 days and couldn't sleep well.And now DAD can sleep well for all eternity.DAD gone at 6pm.MOM and my other siblings was around DAD that time.The way DAD died was so calm and peace..........We watched DAD hold his breath for the last time and died.I was so happy that DAD died in fron of MOM,my brothers,sister and me.We cried so loud and shout DAD's name.We accept for things that happened with DAD with open heart.Maybe GOD loves DAD more than us all.We all do miss you so much,DAD.
May your soul rest in peace.

DAD'S HEALTH WAS IN BAD SITUATION

I received a phone call from my brother telling me the condition of DAD's health.I was so worried also but in a same time I thought that DAD's sickness can be fine easily.Before that,no matter how bad DAD got a problem with health, DAD seem can handle each and everything and DAD will doin fine after that.But the way my brother call me and telling me everything makes me thought that this is too serious to think.
I have to go back home by tomorrow to look after DAD and will take care for him.Last Saturday (26th August 2006), I sent and accompany DAD to the hospital.Seems like everything is going very fine with DAD.But today, the phone call makes me realize and makes me felt terrible about my DAD's health.This is too serious to think.My brother told me that DAD cant breath well and so hard for DAD to speak because DAD have to control his breathing.DAD didn't sleep very well until morning and all night DAD try to hold his breath and sleep on car's sofa.I just don't know what to say and I can't believe it.I must go back by tomorrow.

DANUM VALLEY CONSERVATION AREA

Im so happy coz finally I have a chance to visit Danum Valley Conservation Area with my friends and students.I felt so happy coz this is my first time.So funny coz I was born and raised in Lahad Datu and never been to this place.Hahahahaha.......This activity is for Year 4 and 5 students.There are 44 of them (21 boys and 23 girls)........

We were there for 3 days from Friday (18th August 2006 until 20th August 2006).So nice to be in that place.This Danum Valley is the biggest reservation forest in Malaysia and the biggest in South East Asia.Many scientists and researches came to this place to search and make their observation on tree,animals and insects.I didn't have a chance to talk to one of the scientists even we all stay in a same hostel.Its because they are very busy doing their job.Some of them are still study.

Lots of activities we have done from jungle-tracking to swim.We swam at Segama River....which flow along the Danum Valley.The students are very happy there.They never saw this animal.........PIG or WILDBOAR......They was so surprised to see this animal coz they never saw it before at FELDA.But they were happy coz this is one of their experience........

The students have a chance to see the leeches......walk along jungle trail.....watching video.....watch birds......watch deer........They do enjoy themselves so much.....and so all the teachers involved.Luckily all the girls' teachers are single.So, we don't have to worry much on how to handle things specially when it comes to 'preparing food'.Everythings seems to be fine and Im so happy with what we had there.We also have a chance playing volleyball with Danum Valley staff.Some of them are rangers.

Im so happy with this activity and hope to have more great and fun activity in another place.

MY DAD WAS SICK!

I just came back from my ICT course for two days(10th to 11th August 2006).Last Friday, I went back to Felda with my housemate Wann and friend Anuwar.We reach Felda at about 7.30pm.Oh, felt so tired.In school, used to work till 12.45 p.m. but last Friday with the course until 4.30p.m.
On Saturday and Sunday I have my tuition class as usual from 7.00 a.m. until 11.00 a.m.After the tuition class I went back and have my lunch with Tina at the hall in Bandar Sahabat.After that, went back home and called home.........talk with MOM.
I was so surprised with what MOM told me about DAD.DAD was not feeling well on Saturday.DAD got cough,all his hand cold and looks like it was so terrible the way MOM told me.I was so speechless.On that day also.........MOM want to call me and tell me what happen to DAD.........but, DAD doesn't want MOM to let me know because DAD knows that I much worried later.Yes, indeed I was so worried and I don't know what was on my mind later after that.Maybe it's because DAD have done so much work at home helping my MOM doing housework becaue MOM always not feeling well like wash the dishes and clothes.Even have to woke up early at 4.30 a.m. to cook.Later after this, I guess MOM will not allow DAD to do the housework.But MOM said that is fine already.I still didn't have a chance talking with my DAD.I should talk with DAD...........say something but instead I didn't.Oh my God, this is not right.I need to talk with DAD.
I LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCH........DADMOM

My GREAT MP4 Player!

Finally my MP4 Player just arrived.I asked my housemate Wann to take it from the post office.It's just a small one.My palm is more big than the player.I was so happy with the player and can't wait to search more inside of it.
So, during that night, I asked the help from my friend Marianne to install all the nicest song from her notebook.She was such a nice person.She always helps me whenever I need her help.So, now my MP4 got lots of song..........but only 45 songs because my MP4 Player is only 512MB.Guess I need to buy 1GB just like Marianne.So, I can install lots of video clip and songs.
I think with that MP4 Player, I will not feel boring again.I will have my own world of music.

p/s Thanx to www.ebay.com.my for showing lots of info about cheap products.

iPod Shuffle and iPod Nano

I felt so happy that finally I can buy the product that I'm looking for.It's iPod.One is iPod Shuffle with a price of RM166 (including postage) and the other one is iPod Nano worth RM168 (including postage).I bought it through e-bay.I pay more for that.I don't know if it's worth to buy this stuff.But I won't mind coz I really love this iPod so much.Already made the payment on Tuesday for iPod Shuffle and yesterday, Thursday for iPod Nano.Now, I just have to wait for the product 1 week fr0m now.I just can't live without music.Even I will have to pay more, I'm satisfy with this.I used my tuition payment to buy this iPod.Guess with this stuff, I know I didn't waste my money with other things.Have to plan my budget.So I won't regret and will not ask in the end what happen and where all the money have gone.Hehehehehehehe........

Today, I'm going back home and felt so happy to see my family.I do miss them all so much.When I'm with them, everything is just fine and great.As usual, my sis will wait for me at the cyber cafe.Then after that, will do our shopping.Yes.I'm happy to do my shopping with my sis.Even I'm big enough and both of us are twin sister, sis still hold my hand when we both walk together.She will keep on holding my hand.She care for me so much.We will have so much fun this weekend.

ROBINHO IS DEAD!

Sister call and told me that one of our dog died.Its ROBINHO that died.I felt so sad to hear that.It's just a small puppy.Maybe because its dog's disease.We just dont know what happen.Sis also told that all the dog is not feeling very well.Hmmm...........I just dont want them all to die.Hope they all will always in good health.I hope to come back this week and see them all.
Last week, sister told me that she wants to take some photo of all the puppies before something happen to all of them.Before they all died.Guess we missed to take the photo and one of the puppy died already.But it's okay because I already took two pictures of all the puppies when they are just 3 weeks old.So, its okay if we didn't have ROBINHO's picture where he is 1 month old.Can't wait to go back to see all of them.

WE NAME OUR PUPPIES WITH BRAZILIAN FOOTBALL TEAM NAME!

Felt so sad to know my favourite team Brazil lost 0-1 to France during quarter-final.I just couldn't believe it.Why they have to lost.Just couldn't sleep well after all and keep on thinking about it.Maybe they will win the title for 2010 FIFA World Cup.I will wait for that moment where Brazil will get back their victory.I'm sure they will.

Our dog already gave birth to four cute puppies.We really love them so much.My twin sister, Tina really loves those puppies.Everytime when she got back from work, she will have her time play with the puppies.We still didn't have any name for that cute puppies, after their mother gave birth.Since Brazil lost their game............so, my twin sister decided to name all the puppies with Brazilian players.

The first puppy, we call it ADRIANO(it got black and brown colour)...........second puppy is RONALDO (its colour is brown and white).......then the white one is KAKA.Then the last one with brown colour we call it ROBINHO.All the names are given by my twin sister.Guess I already miss all of them.After they got their name...........I felt so happy.......no pressure even Brazil lost their game...............At least got a small player here.Hehehehehe........

YOU SANG TO ME

Marc Anthony Lyrics

Marc Anthony Music Video Codes

Music Video Codes by VideoCure.com

THE WAY YOU LOVE ME

IT'S THE WAY YOU LOVE ME THAT MAKES ME FALL FOR YOUR LOVE.......
YOUR UNCONDITONAL LOVE!
HOW LUCKY I AM TO HAVE YOUR LOVE!

THE WAY
There's somethin' 'bout the way
You look tonight
There's somethin' bout the way that
I can't take my eyes off you

There's somethin' 'bout the way
Your lips invite
Maybe it's the way that
I get nervous when you're around

And I want you to be mine
And if you need a reason why

It's in the way that
You move me
And the way that
You tease me
The way that
I want you tonight

It's in the way that
You hold me
And the way that
You know me
And when I can't find
The right words to say
You feel it in the way
Oh, feel it in the way

Somethin' 'bout how you stay on my mind
There's somethin' 'bout the way that
I whisper your name when I'm asleep, oh, girl
Maybe it's the look
You get in your eyes
Oh, baby, it's the way that
It makes me feel to see you smile
And the reasons they may change
But what I'm feelin' stays the same

In the way that
You move me
And the way that
You tease me
The way that
I want you tonight [tonight]

It's in the way that
You hold me
And the way that
You know me
And when I can't find
The right words to say
You feel it in the way
Oh, feel it in the way

I can't put my fingers on
Just what it is that makes me
Love you, you, baby
So don't ask me to describe
I get all choked up inside
Just thinkin' 'bout the way

It's in the way that [Oh]
You move me
And the way that
You tease me
The way that I want you tonight [tonight]

Oh [It's in the way that]
You hold me [the way you hold me, yeah]
And the way that
You know me [the way you know me]
When I can find the right words to say [Feel it in the]
It's in the way that
You move me
And the way that
You tease me [feelin']
The way-ay-ay-ay-ay ~ [feel it in the way]

There's somethin' 'bout the way you look tonight
There's nothin' more to say than
I feel it in the way

Clay Aiken Lyrics

Clay Aiken Music Video Codes

Music Video Codes by VideoCure.com

LONELY....I WAS SO LONELY!

I was all alone after school open for the second semester.My housemates is not around.They have to go back to college to finish their studies and they will be back by July 07.So, I was all alone at home.Nothing much to do.Maybe just sleep and sleep...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
I don't like to be alone.I like when there is a people around me where I can talk and have fun with them.It remind me of my good friend back in college.So much fun being with them all.Always with lots of things to do.And I didn't felt alone.Even I was away from my family that time.Because I got such a nice and good friends who always there with me.Now, we all are far away to each other.I miss them all so much.
It makes me think so much when there is nothing much to do at home.Think about what my life will be ahead of me.My future, my family and for sure my beloved.The only thing I can make things better is by listening to music.It really helps me to ease my mind and makes me feel comfortable.Guess I need to buy an iPod.But it's very expensive.Guess I just buy that SONY walkman with USB.
By next week, another work to finish on time and seems like I will be busy with lots of work.I have to calm down, take a deep breath.Think positive that this is my job and I have to finish no matter how hard and difficult it is.And I have to prepare all my files because 'NAZIR' will come to our school to check everything.

FIRST SEMESTER MID-TERM SCHOOL'S BREAK

So happy that finally we got our holiday for first semester.I don't know what will be my plan for this holiday.Maybe just stay at home and helping my MOM doing the housework.She need a rest since she have to take care of my sick cousin.She must be pretty tired.I'm happy even just stay at home doing this and that with my beloved family as long as it makes me happy.

But I have to return to school for the second week of my holiday because we got motivation workshop for UPSR students......YEAR 6.It will begin on Monday and Tuesday for English subject.So glad because after that I can go back again to continue my holiday with my beloved family.YES!

Suddenly I felt like I do miss all my friends back in college......981(98-2001).I really miss you all so much.Oh no....so sad to think of it.But anyway, life goes on.I'm happy for all the moments that I share with my 981 friends.I learn everything with you all and thank you so much for teaching me more on this life.When I felt lonely..........I will flashback my memory where I have such a good moment with you all and it really makes me happy.Words just can't explain how happy I am with you all.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL........MY 981 FRIENDS...........

ALL DA WAY........BABY!

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY to all my BELOVED FRIENDS OF 981(98-2001).Our memories will always remain in my heart and I will never ever gonna forget all the things that we have done together.We all are now being apart to each other.I learn each and everything when I was in college.So many friends to be with and everything is going just fine with all of us.I'm so glad that I have a good friend.Indeed they are my BEST FRIEND..........BETH, ELSA, NIEZA, RINA and JANA.We all share each and everything so fine.No matter where and what we do..........we all stick together.Even things might not come out very well..........we still happy together.I can't forget it all..........never ever......

I wish I can just turn back the time and see again what we have done and to cherish again those memory.I really love being with my friends......my BEST FRIENDS!

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY...........GOD BLESS YOU ALL!

LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO YOU MY BELOVED MOTHER...Mrs WILHELMINA WAITUNA KUMANIRENG!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MOTHER.......Mrs WILHELMINA WAITUNA KUMANIRENG.You have done so much for us and I know words can't explain what you did for all of us.You were there and you care so much for each and everything.Even we all grwon up and we can take care of ourself, you still wants the best for us.You were there to make sure that we got the best.

Sometimes I think so hard on you.Think how glad and proud I am to have you in our life.You are truly our guardian ANGEL.

So many words to describe you MOM...........but it all come out to say........

THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!

FA Cup...LIVERPOOL is THE BEST OF ALL!

There is no electricity since 6 pm.So sad.Means can't have a chance to watch my favourite team play........LIVERPOOL against WEST HAM UNITED for final FA CUP.So me and my family went to our cousin house to watch the game.Guess what?For sure my best team won the game........Just that they won for penalty shot with a score 4-2.They are so great.Even other audience might thought LIVERPOOL will lost for FA Cup.GERRARD........is man of the match.He really is a good player.He save his team for a third score in 91 minutes.I'm not sure what i will feel if LIVERPOOL lost the game.But indeed they are a good team and the best team.Hmmm...can't wait for BARCELONA against ARSENAL..........

MAULIDUR RASUL CELEBRATION

It's inter-school MAULIDUR RASUL celebration and we have been so busy since yesterday.I was involved with stage decorationa and seems like everything is fine.I woke up late today at 7.oo a.m.Then, I took my bath then watch the football of my favourite team....LIVERPOOL against WEST HAM UNITED.As usual, my team won the game 2-1.I was so happy then and couldn't wait for LIVERPOOL to play in FA CUP Final.Hope they will win the match.Beth was here since last week and I plan to have a lunch with her tomorrow but then, she have to go back to KK.Its okay then.Maybe some other day.I miss all my friends back in college.All the memory will always remain on my thoughts and sometimes I wish that I can turn back the time to spend my time again with all of them.

SCHOOL'S EDUCATION AWARDS CEREMONY

I felt so tired since last Tuesday.So many works I have to do.I have to draw a graphic picture for this ceremony.And the graphic should be drawn below the stage as a border.I do it alone and I was so grateful to have 4 students who are willing to help finish all the graphic.I was grateful also to Anne for her kindness to help me.She just can't stand to see I do it all alone.I was so happy in the end I can finish it all.
Today, is the prize giving ceremony and I was involved as the emcee.So tired because I have to prepare the text until I sleep late at 2.30am.So glad that everything is going very fine.Tomorrow there is no school, so I can spend much time with my beloved family and talking with my beloved.I wish we both have much time to talk.
By next week, I know, there is going to be a lot of work waiting for me to settle down.I hope that no matter how hard it is, I can still finish it all.Because I was thinking of someone.And by thinking of him, I felt so happy.

I LOST MY HANDPHONE

I couldn't believe that I lost my handphone yesterday.........
May be it's my fault that I was careless and forget about it.So sad coz I do love that handphone and all the messages inside the handphone.I didn't delete all the message that I received from my beloved.I felt so sad that I couldn't keep his message.I am now using a new number and I will try hard to get back my old number.Maybe this week when I get back home.I'm afraid I will received a lot of messages from my friends and they all didn't know that I have lost my handphone.My beloved TWIN SISTER, CRISTINA have told me that after this, I need to keep all my friends number on address book.I better be careful after this.I am now using my brother's handphone and I need to buy a new handphone.

p/s BE CAREFUL WHEREVER YOU GO.DON'T BE CARELESS!

HAPPY 3rd ANNIVERSARY TO SHIKRA AND SWEETY

It's our 3rd anniversary today.I can't believe I have known this guy for 3 years since 2003.It's so nice that we both hang on with our relationship even it is so hard to believe.We both face so many problems and things might not seem very well, but because we both have the same feeling towards each other and we both believe in our love...........it makes us both still hold on with this love.I'm so proud to know and to have your love in my life.I can't believe again to have your love and I can't imagine to have someone else in my life.
I'm not so sure if my beloved remember that today is our anniversary..............I guess because of his work, he might forget this special day.It's okay then.I wish you do remember this special day of our life.At least, as for me, I will never ever forget about this special day in my life.
I wish my beloved is always in good health and happy always.I wish you a NEVER ENDING HAPPINESS.GOD BLESS YOU all the way through.Even without me, I know you can move on with your love.Thank you so much for all the love you have given to me.
I'm so happy last night that I received a call..........a birthday wish from BETH.She sang birthday song with her beloved.I'm so happy.Thank you so much.

p/s Got a nice bracelet and bag from my beloved students of 6A(INISIATIF) for my birthday present.

HAPPY 27th BIRTHDAY FOR TWIN SISTERS (CRISTINA AND HELENA)

It's our birthday today..........HAPPY 27th BIRTHDAY for my beloved twin sister, Cristina and for me also.I felt so happy that we both still live til today.Call home and talk to DADMOM.......said THANK YOU for all the love and care they gave us both.Without them, we both are not who we are today.THANX DADMOM.GOD BLESS YOU BOTH.
I do wish that everything will be just fine for me and my beloved sister no matter how hard it is.She is the only and the best sister I ever had, and I am so glad and proud that she is part of me and my TWIN.Sometimes, so hard to think and believe that I was born into this world with someone.......my twin.She done so much for me.........she always there in my time of need.I don't know what my life will be without her.And I wanna thank you because for such a long til today.............she is with me.
I wish and hope that this year will bring so much pleasure and good things ahead of us.May we both will face everything so fine and happy no matter how hard it is.I wish that my beloved is fine and happy with his life there.I know you can manage each and everything without me there for you.I wish someone will be with you soon and someday.I'm sure of that.

SCHOOL'S HOLIDAY

It's school's holiday (for one week :13th-19th March 2006)and I felt so happy with that.Coz I can spend much time with my beloved family and I can take a rest for all the work that gave me headache.For this holiday, I don't want to think too much about what happen in school, my work or whatever.I just want to be happy and live my life the way I want to.
For this holiday.....I just stay at home and help my MOM doing housework because MOM need to take a rest.But it doesn't mean I can't come online and talk with my beloved!But I know......it's not that easy asking my beloved to come online so we both can speak easily.He was so commitment with his work........if I ask him to come online.....it will disturb him with his work..........
If my beloved come online and we can talk...it means it's our "VALENTINE'S DAY".Even we didn't have much time talking with each other...I'm happy as long as he is happy even I miss my time talking with him.I knew he do understand what I felt towards him.I will enjoy my time this holiday.........if I have a time.....then I will talk with my beloved...........

A BLOG FOR MY BELOVED........

Today I have a chance again talking with my beloved..........and yesterday, my beloved told me that his left arm got hurt and there is 10 stitches on his elbow.I was damn hurt and sad when he told me about that.I wish I was there with him.......so I can take care of him and can help him.But he said he is fine and he wants me to be strong like him.Indeed I can be strong the way he wants me to but I felt so sad.I will try to be strong as he wants me to.

He told me today why he always didn't want to say 'I MISS U' everytime that we finish talking.And he told me honestly that he only wanted to check how was my reaction if he dont want to say 'I MISS YOU'......and my reaction was more than his thinking.I was agressive and angry with him.He only wanted to make me angry.But I was happy he told me his reason.I thought he was angry with me since 'ALLY'.He also said that ALLY is also his friend.

I was truly happy that finally he said........"I REALLY MISS YOU SWEETY".......it's like I was dreaming when I heard what he said.Now, I truly felt strong feeling on him.Nothing could ever change the way we both felt towards each other.

I told my beloved about my blog.........this blog.He only read my blog last time on the day of 'ALLY'.And today, I gave my beloved this address.I do hope he can read all, so he will know how I felt towards this life and to let him know how much his love mean so much to me.My dear even asked me not to show to anybody his name.........keep his name inside my heart.I want the whole world know how Shikra mean so much.

Okay, my dear........Shikra.Hope you can understand how much my life with you and may what we both wish for can be the way we want to.

I DO LOVE AND MISS YOU SO MUCH.YOU ARE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.

WHAT SORT OF MAGIC IS IN YOUR SOUL?

Your power is of the land of the dead. You can
bring a dead person to life and have them on
your side against anyone you want. You have
the power of the darkside, but yet it could
be used for healing your injured friends.

What sort of magic is in your soul? *With beautiful anime pix*
brought to you by

EVERY DAY IS VALENTINE'S DAY........

I was so happy today that I have a chance talking with my beloved.
Every time I talk with him, I felt so ease and comfortable.He really makes me felt like in heaven.He was so much busy with his work and I couldn't really have a chance to talk with him.But today, it is our lucky day that we both can spent our time talking.I have sent my beloved a lovely Valentine's card.I think that the card is so special and it mean so much.The card is chosen by one of my best friend, BETH with her beloved.I asked her to find me a lovely Valentine's card for my beloved.Thank you so much, BETH.I do really love that card so much.And I really glad my beloved really love that card so much also.So, SHIKRA told me today that everytime we both have a chance talking online, then, it will be our VALENTINE'S DAY.
I felt so happy he said that......and on my card for him, I wrote the meaning of his name......and he can't believe what I wrote and he seems very surprised with that......
I'm so happy for what I did to him.At least I know that I am very honest with him and I don't want him to miss every single part of my life and the love that he should have.
I LOVE YOU ALWAYS FOREVER........EVEN FAR I KNEW WE WILL STILL BE TOGETHER

It's love! You are actually in love with this
person! I am 80 or more %
positive they love
you back! If you havn't already tell the

person you love them! They just might tell
you the same back!
Congrats! Its not
obsession, even though people may say it is,

its not another crush, it is actually LOVE!

http://www.quizilla.com/redirect.php?statsid=57&url=http://quizilla.com/users/Sweetandsassy101/quizzes
/Is%20it%20love%3F%20Obsession%3F%20Or%20just%20another
%20crush%3F">Is it love? Obsession? Or just another crush?

brought to you by

Friday, February 17, 2006

11-th ANNUAL SPORTS DAY IS OVER!

I felt so happy that the event for sports is over.So glad that I don't have to think too much.Felt so tired but it's okay.At least everything going on very fine even we felt so much pressure and tension.
So sad that my team didn't do well for this year.Never mind.I hope by next year, I can help my team to win again the game.
I took part for relay in this sports day for 4 x 100m (teachers)......and my team got second place.It's okay.At least we already try and we took part in this event.
It's been a long time I didn't write much for my blog.It's because the computer lab in school didn't open because all the teachers busy for the sports.I hope by next week, they will open the lab so that I will have a chance to update my blog.Tomorrow is holiday so I guess I need to take a good rest.But I guess I want to go to dentist...to check my teeth.I'm not feeling very well because of my teeth.Hope I have a chance to go to dentist by tomorrow.
I really can't wait to go to school this coming Monday because I do really want to feel on track.We have been busy for a couple of weeks and things didn't get very well.I wish everything will be just fine.
GOD PLEASE HELP ME WITH ALL THE THINGS THAT I DO!

SCHOOL WILL BE BUSY

My school will be busy soon......for sports day.Then, we will have the tuition class.What a day...but it's okay coz that's what are teacher for.To be very busy and busy.But it really fun and enjoy.Sports Day is just around the corner and I will involve with publicity........and emergency case during the Sports Day.My team never lost with this tournament and we wish this year my team will get first place......hope so...I will try hard to help my team achieve this glory.We will start train this coming Tuesday.....and I will choose my student from Year 3 and Year 4 for Second Group.I wish my team will again become the best team ever!
GOOD LUCK FOR BAHAMAN(BIRU-BLUE).........


p/s Today I turn 26 years and 10 months........

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2006

It's a new year for 2006......and I was thinking that time pass by so fast.I've been teaching for more than 4 years now and lots of challenge I face as a teacher.But I'm happy with that coz it makes me to believe in myself and face each and everything with open heart.
I was so happy with my friends....like Beth and Elsa.They all can further their study.Congratulations!.......I hope I can also further my study like them.I must move forward.
I was worried with MOM.....coz she always not feeling very well.Indeed she felt tired and need a good rest.But it is so hard for her.....coz if she have to rest, then who is going to do all the housework?So hard coz I'm far from them and I couldn't help MOM.....only during the weekend.That is why DAD have to do some of housework.
Actually MOM have to take care of my cousin who got sick since last two years and he can't move.He got no one and MOM was there to help him......taking good care of him.I'm so proud of you,....MOM.You were there when people really need you and I'm so proud to have you........
I hope this 2006 bring lots of joy and happiness for me and my beloved...SHIKRA.So many things happen between us two.Sometimes we both felt happy and sometimes we felt so much hurt.But it makes us felt so deeply in love with each other.That's what love is.......TO BE LOVE AND TO BE HURT......otherwise you never know the meaning of TRUE LOVE.........
I hope he is the one for me.........and no matter what problem and situation that we both face throughout this year, we hope GOD'S LOVE and GRACE will guide us all and to face it with open heart and strong enough to deal with each problem........may my family and friends will be happy always........AMEN!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH....MY DEAR BELOVED...SHIKRA!

I DO LOVE YOU!

I do love you so much, my dear beloved SHIKRA.I'm afraid that you will change what you felt towards me.But it's okay.I know that you are strong enough and you always be fine in each and everything.I'm so glad and proud to have you in my life.I hope you are the man that I can spend the rest of my life with.
I know it's not that easy for me to be with SHIKRA.But I was so happy with what I have with him now.He is the best I ever had...............and I'm not going to loose him again...........never!
He really honest with me.So hard to find a man like him........never kiss a woman and even never falling in love before.I guess I am the luckiest girl of all to have him.I so proud of that.Guess I'm the first lady to kiss him................wow, so nice to think like that.But it's not that easy.Time will make sure if I can have him as my HUBBY!
I do really miss you and I am sure you do miss me too the way I miss you!
LOVE YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!

I AM WITH YOU

I sent my beloved SMS last nite......tellin him that I'm kinda hard to know him because he didn't talk to much and didn't say anything after what I did to him.I felt so terrible.I do miss him so much.I'm not sure what my life will be without him.He is the best I ever had.If I lost him, I guess my life will change.I will never ever find someone like him.It's because he is all I got.He got what I want in man.And, thank you God for giving me someone as special as SHIKRA.
I guess SHIKRA was not happy with my sms last nite........and TODAY, he sent me offline messages......he thought I will understand his situation with his official work there.But, sometimes I think him in a wrong way.I also wrote that he have changed what he felt on me.But instead, I was wrong.He was strong with his feeling one me and I should believe in his love......and he never ever change.He also said that 'I AM WITH YOU'.I was so happy to know that.I should trust him more and more.He only got me in his life and no other women can take my place.I'm always in his way.I must try to understand his situation now.He needs me.I should be what I should be.Thank you so much my dear beloved SHIKRA.You know that you can make me happy always!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH........

KEEP YOU HAPPY ALWAYS!

I'm not sure if my beloved is fine or not.He said he was fine.But I can felt that he is not fine.He got different feeling on me and I'm definitely sure about it.But he pretend that everything is fine.I'm not sure what he really felt.I guess he was trying to hide what he really felt.He don't want to let it show.I felt so sad and I'm not happy with that.I hope you can be honest with me........show me what you really want.Don't let me think about it alone and I can't stop thinking about you.I know I have hurt you so much.I do really knew it.But I didn't mean it.But it mean so much to you for what I did.I wish there is a chance for explaination but I guess it's not going to happen.
I really felt you have changed what you felt on me.The love you got already changed.......and it really hurt.The way you talk to me when we go online, is the answer.I felt different when I talked with you because you have changed.Now, today I tried to talked with you but there is no respond from you and I'm not so sure what's wrong with that.I hope it's the problem with the internet connection.I'm waiting for you to reply my message but still, you couldn't reply it.I guess you angry with me, that's why you didn't reply my message.
I know how angry you are with me.I do really know.When we talked last time after you found out about my other ID, you felt so regret about that.And I felt so hurt and sad because you said that you wish you just die and became one of the victim on the disaster.What would you think if I also said that to you when you done a mistake on me?You are not happy,rite?I know I have my mistake on you.But the mistake which I done to you....I hope you can consider it very well.Why I did that?Because you didn't give me proper response, like what I did to you.I don't want to talk about that.I got nothing if I said that.Things will getting worst.
I'm now have to move on even it is so hard.I'm not sure if I still have your love with me.I couldn't think to have your love in my life.I won't dare to have your love.....coz I already hurt you.I thought my mistakes is fine but I guess is the biggest mistakes for you.
I'm not sure what I want to feel with you.You said you want to KEEP ME HAPPY ALWAYS.....but I guess what you did really makes me felt so hurt.Plese try to be honest when you love someone.Don't pretend you are fine......instead you felt so hurt.I need your honesty to tell me the truth.I never thought you don't want to talk with me.I guess I have to let things just like that.No matter what happen, I'm so happy because I'm honest to tell you what I really felt and nothing left to know.....and I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!......even now you have changed what you felt against me.I wish all the best in everything you do!

MY BELOVED IS FINE...THANK YOU!

I felt so terrible after what I did to my beloved.I know it's not that easy for him to know and accept what I just did to him.I hope he is fine also.....but I guess I might not know what inside his heart.But he is a true decent man.
I can't stop thinking of him.Every time I woke up, my first thought is him.His name always lingers on my mind and I keep on saying it.I'm not sure what my life will be without him.He seem to be very perfect and I guess I have no words to describe him........he was my everything!
I was so happy I have a chance to talk with him today.My beloved is fine and I was so happy today that he is definitely fine.Maybe I wasn't really sure what is in his mind.I felt so happy anyway.Thanx my dear for making my day today!
He do really always want to make me happy even it is so hard and I was grateful to have him in my life.He really want to make sure that I am happy and indeed he keep me happy.He said to me today when we both talk online is that.... "KEEP YOU HAPPY ALWAYS".Thanks my dear!
I must now believe and trust my beloved so much.Just as what he did to me.I must learn from him.He was so strong with his feeling on me.I hope I will be strong like him and will keep our relation last forever.
THANX MY SHIKRA........indeed you are like an EAGLE!

MY BELOVED FOUND OUT!

I couldn't really believe that my beloved already found out my other ID on chat.....MSN and Yahoo.I don't know how he found out but he was sure 100% it was me and he just want to make sure.
I couldn't admit it's not me because he wants me to swear that the ID is not my other ID under his LOVE.I can't lie to him......then I admit to him about the ID.Shikra found out about me using another ID coz:

1- Everytime I send sms.ac using my usual ID, in a same time I also send sms.ac using the other ID.

2- He never gave ALLY his yahoo ID.So, Shikra was so sure that I'm the one who gave ALLY his yahoo ID.

3- The font colour that ALLY used on MSN is the same font colour that I used when I talk with Shikra.
He knew I always used purple as my font colour.

4- And for the last reason, Shikra was so sure it was me using that other ID by the way ALLY talked with Shikra and the way ALLY used the sentences when talking.He was sure it was me.I thought Shikra didn't know me but instead he knew me more than that.Just that he never told me..Now I knew how deep his feeling for me.

Oh, God, it was so difficult for him to accept and know what I just did to him.He was so honest with his love on me.....but I'm the one who turn things very bad.
I hope my beloved Shikra can understand why I did that.I didn't mean to test his love on me or try to play a game with his heart.It just happen like that.
First, Shikra introduced me about sms.ac.I registered my name on that sms.ac........but when I try to open my ID, it can't be open.So, I try with another ID using my twin sister's number and that is why ALLY exist.I will open both of my sms.ac.But on that day, I was wrong send sms using ALLY's ID.That is the first time Shikra got that sms.ac.I was surprised and I don't know what to say.So, I just leave things like that.But then, ALLY got responsed from Shikra.So, things started out so well.I want to tell Shikra about ALLY, but I'm afraid he will damn angry with me.So, I plan to tell him about ALLY when the time is come.But so sad, Shikra already found out about ALLY more than I expect.I don't know what to say but I wish Shikra can understand why I did that.I hope he didn't misunderstood me.But what can I do?he knew about it already.I did that because I just want to know how and why Shikra love me through ALLY. I didn't mean anything.If Shikra can recall all the conversation that ALLY have with him, then he can understand that most of the questions that ALLY asked are mostly on wanting to know his feeling towards HELENA.That's all and nothing more.But I didn't have a chance to explain that.It's okay.I have to accept the consequence on what I did to Shikra.
Now, I was damn hurt because I didn't have a chance to explain everything and I already hurt his feeling so much.He was so hurt.Words can't really explain how hurt he is, but I knew.
The situation between me and Shikra is quiet different now.I can feel it.He was not sure again what he felt about me after what I did to him.There is nothing I can do.I just hope he will said again all the magic words to me.That is the only way I can know if he still have his feeling on me.It's weird because there is no love words between us when we talk to each other and it hurt so much.
He didnt allowed me to discuss the topic when we both online and talking.But I can't be like that.He knew that I will discuss the topic with him.But he didn't allow me to do that.I can't pretend nothing happen and just forget things like that to him.Let him hurt his feeling alone........and I don't have a chance to know how he felt after what I did to him.I just hope he will open his heart to talk with me and give me chance to explain everything because I can't go on talking without knowing everything.
If I have a chance, then I will talk with him.But for now, I think that I have to give him some time and I will talk with him when he ask me to come online and talk................and if he felt like he reeally miss me so much.Now, Len, give a break and time to your beloved Shikra.If he still love you, then he will turn to you.Otherwise, you have to move on no matter how hurt and hard it is.
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU FOREVER AND MORE!

P/S Just remember that Shikra still have his love on you, just that maybe it will be different.But don't ever change what you felt towards him.And just wait until the time he don't want you in his life anymore.

WHEN LOVE AND HATE COLLIDE!

This morning I got sms from my old friend.He needs my help.So I set a date with him.So happy to see him after so long.It's been four years I didn't talk with him closely like today. I felt so happy with him.I know it might be akward for both of us because it's been so long..........then suddenly we met each other.I'm so happy with this date.Hope to date with him more............
He was nicce and hope everything will also be fine with him.I want to talk with him more, but he have to go.It's okay, I will see him again next time.
Oh my God!Another problem I have to face again with my boyfriend.We both really misunderstood each other.I didn't received his offline message telling me about his situation and the problem he have to face there.How should I know his problem when I didn't received any message from him.I know you might be angry and mad at me...............because I didn't understand ur situation and human problems.I hope we both can really talk with each other.......so we can understand this situation better.Otherwise, we both will hurt so much.
I'M SO SORRY IF I HAVE HURT YOU!........

HAPPY 28th BIRTHDAY MY DEAR BELOVED...SHIKRA!

It's my beloved birthday today...HAPPY 28th BIRTHDAY my dear.I'm so happy for you for this day and so sad that I can't celebrate the birthday with you because we both being away so far to each other.But we do understand our feelings.Just that I am the one who always curious about your love.I hope this day for your age, will bring you all the joy and happiness in your life and hope you will always have a great day ahead of you.
Live a happy life as you always want and believe in yourself.I always trust and believe in you.I'm so sorry if for the past year I've known you............I have hurt you so much.Please forgive me.......if I have a chance then I will show you what my love is!
You are the best thing ever happened in my life and I wanna thank you for the love you have given me...........
I LOVE YOU MORE AND MORE AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY WITH ALL MY LOVE........

I MISS YOU!

I really miss my beloved.I hope he is always fine by now.Thank you so much for giving me a bell to let me know that u r doin okay.I was so confused because it's like we both lost contact to each other.I don't know if things is fine with u there.No one will tell me about you there.I hope someday and soon we will talk again.I will be waiting for you.
I do hope this coming 2nd December 2005, you can come online and we both can talk.You know what this day means....but if you can't come online, then it's okay.I do understand your situation there.But I really count on you on that day.I will be lucky if you can come on that day.I do really miss you so much.You do know how I felt about you.........
GOD BLESS YOU ALL THE WAY...MY DEAR BELOVED SHIKRA........

I MISS MY FRIEND SO MUCH!

Nothing much to do at home.Just helping my mother doing the housework and then watch the TV.Sometimes I felt so bored but what can I do?.....maybe just reading and learn a lot more.This coming December......I have examination to deal with.It is PTK (Penilaian Tahap Kecekapan) for us because we are the government officer.This examination is quiet good because it test all the officer about the job they were doin and if they do really understand about the work and the law.
Got to study hard from now. The exam will be on 28th December 2005.
I do miss my friend so much.Don't know what is their plan this holiday.I hope they all are very happy in each and whatever they do.And I knew they do really enjoy their time this holiday.......with their beloved family and their beloved one.
I wish I have a time to meet them all and heard their story.I do really miss my time back in Kent College where lots of memories that I can't forget and it will always remain as the memory that will last forever.
I wish all my friend in 981 Kent College are always be happy and I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!
Thanks for all the sweet memories we all share together.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL........

LOVING SOMEONE

When it comes to love.....sometimes we don't know what to say and sometimes it's hard to explain it.Person who already fell in love.....they can explain the love and even if they don't they can understand it.....
I thought loving someone is just as simple as that.....but when I really face it and fell int love......I was speechless.It's a great and good feeling.You felt like you were in heaven's gate.........and will reach to the happy ending.I never know what is the end of my relationship with Shikra.....but I hope there is an end.
I didn't talk much with Shikra recently and I though so hard for me to talk with him again.Looks like I will lost contact with him.He didn't even try to contact me.....but what can I do?He is like that.I'm not sure if he even care for what I felt.Whatever happen to him.....I just hope he is fine.Sometimes, I felt like I was so angry with him coz he seem didn't care for what I did to him and he didn't respond so good.I understand that.I just knew he told me that he loves me.He only said those words but he doesn't know how much I miss him.So hard to explain it.I wish he knew how I really felt and what I need from him as my lover.A good respond and care for me.That's all I need.Better to stop this relationship......but I can't.I just wait for his answer until he said he wants to end this relationship.I wish he knew how to love someone.Even if I can't live my life with him........I was so happy that I learn how to love someone from him.THANK YOU SO MUCH, SHIKRA.
I hope you will find the right one who can make you happy and will understand you more than I do.Open you heart to someone who deserve your love.You will fine her.......just a matter of time.Be patient and you will find her.
Even if we can't be together.......I promise to love you FOREVER!
GOD BLESS YOU MY DEAR BELOVED.......SHIKRA!

IT'S SCHOOL HOLIDAY NOW!

It's been a long time I guess after two weeks, then I have a chance to write again for my blog here.My holiday seems to be fine and my work at school is fine.I was so happy.........
Nothing much to do for this holiday.....maybe I will just stay at home and help MOM doing housework.........pretty tired but I have to help her.....
MOM was so busy taking care my cousin who live with us.He was sick and couldn't move his body.It's hard to do the job, taking care someone who couldn't move their body and we have to prepare everything for him.That's why if MOM have to take care of my cousin, then I'm the one who responsible to do all the housework from cleaning to cooking.MOM was so tired and now MOM is not feeling very well.Sometimes, I'm the one who nursing my cousin if MOM need to take a rest.But it's good to do a work like that.At least my stay at home meaningful.I enjoy doing it even for sure can feel the tiredness.
I do miss my beloved........I don't know if he is fine by now.He didn't contact me.......but I just hope he is fine.'Coz he knows what is the best.